To Kill Oneself

I always think how great it is to kill oneself, i mean to destine our own fate, to terminate when we want to live no more, to have the real freedom of our self. How wonderful!

Hahaha.. Am i delusional? I dun think so. It is logical - at least in my own thought.

Well, lately I frequently remind my partner to kill me if there is something happen to me (accident, illness, or anything which makes me less than 'thinking-man'). I wanna be burn to ashes in my death.

I am so damn curious for what actually afterlife means. Just like the egyptians. I wonder whether my heart will weigh heavier than the feather or not. I want to know about the judgment. Well,,

I will face the answers soon. Whenever i am ready for, whenever i think 'enough'.